Movie Review: UltraViolet
March 4th, 2006 . by polyGeekThis isn’t so much of a movie review as a warning not to see this movie. I could go on and on about how bad it was, and oh my god it was frakking bad. But the best way to put this is that at the end of the movie the audience applauded - myself included. We applauded that it was over. It was that bad. I sat on the railing and listened to what people were saying as they walked out. They said things like: “Oh my god that was horrible.”, “That was the worse movie I’ve ever seen.”, “I didn’t know a movie could be that bad.” People were really saying things like that.
So please don’t see this movie and tell you friends not to see it. The only circumstance I could possibly think of for recommending that you see this movie is if you have a “belly button fetish”. In that case you might, just might, find it worth watching.
If you don’t believe me then visit RottenTomatoes.com. It get’s a 4%.
If you were to take the worst scenes from Kill Bill and The Matrix, combine them and rub them with poo, you would get UltraViolet. Had I been watching this movie while on life support, I would have figured out a way to pull my own plug. Everything about this movie was cold and flat. The only semi-cool thing about this movie was her rockin body and the ever changing hair and outfits. Yet, I still wanted to gouge my eyes out. Another thing, if you have a family member that has seen it and they don’t warn you about this movie, take them out of your will as the credits roll.
Here we have an ethical dilemma. If a friend/relative is watching a movie that you know to suck beyond reckoning do you warn them off or let them experience it for themselves?
I think most would choose to warn them off just as you would if they were about to walk blindfolded across a busy freeway. Unless they are your little sister. In that case: let ‘em suffer.
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